Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
