i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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