i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hippo gnu deer
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
