I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
