3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
