The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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