Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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