does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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