he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It was confusing and full of hummus
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
