I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
