I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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