I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
