shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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