Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
