My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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