the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
