Plan B is the new Plan A
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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