If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
