She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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