i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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