Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
FUCK WHALES
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
