I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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