Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
