420 ftw
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
