I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
