I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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