Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
