I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
