wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
