Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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