After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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