And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
