dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
