i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
