Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
