So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
