Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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