Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
