and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
