she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
