I'm so fucking centered right now
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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