In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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