im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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