dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
dude. I can hear the air.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
