I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
birth control should be required to get into college
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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