this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
