She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
