she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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