How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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