he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
