omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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